The other day, a good friend of mine said to me:
I am not coming from ego, I am self-confident!
That got me thinking.
To be self-reliant definitely feels powerful. We can think we come from a deep centered place but is it real? Let’s examine.
To be fully confident, we have to know ourselves, we have to be whole. To be whole we have to own all the consciousness there is. Since we lost a chunk of it upon incarnating, we start our journey lacking a portion of this precious substance. And the journeys of our life are precisely offered for us to conquer this lost substance, so that we can realize it consciously.
In the beginning we have replaced the lost consciousness by ego and patterns; it is our human challenge. Away from self, ego has invariably set in. Its role is to compensate the distance. The flaw of this system is that it keeps us separated from the wholeness of our Consciousness.
Ego will dupe you to believe that you are in self-confidence.
We have lived with ego for so long… it is so deeply intertwined in our subconscious layers that we are attached and hold on to it for dear life!
Ego is trained to make you feel good about yourself, because it has been its role forever. Wanting to keep its position, it makes you think you are powerful, centered and altogether in the mastery of your life. And to a degree it’s true. You can create what you want from ego, the only problem is that if you feel good, it will only be conditional and temporary; you will always have to find something better to make you feel good again, to top it all. It becomes the pursuit of more, because there is a missing part inwardly that cries to compensate with more outwardly.
Ego is here to make you think that your good has to improve. There is a missing part in you that calls you and makes you feel always incomplete; no matter what happens around, how much money you have, how much power you dispose of, how much love you receive. It’s never enough.
Being steered by ego is our predicament, because it has become entrenched in our fibers, in our DNA, and we don’t realize its presence anymore. A favorite ego strategy is to make us think we are whole and therefore confident, when in fact we are satisfying our ego demands in disguise.
Self-confidence can only exist in the totality of our presence, which means that if you are lacking a part of you, it will be replaced by ego. That’s a law in humanity. If we are self-confident from an ego position, then we are in an illusionary confidence. We carry forth ideas and creations that transmit that lack of wholeness, keeping us and others in the same mode, over and over.
The story line changes, but the plot is the same.
Life-styles improve but inside, the same wounds are still open.
Self-confidence coming from ego feels squeaky. The problem is that we learned to deny the squeakiness, attached to feeling safe instead of exploring further.
Questions: Are you ready and bold enough to examine where you are coming from?
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About Natalie Kawai
Spiritual Teacher and revolutionary thought leader, Natalie Kawai is a messenger of the Great Mother of 
Creation. She champions the rise of feminine energy. This part of our presence having been denied from time of creation, we feel that something is missing. Time to return to wholeness and enjoy fulfillment beyond conditional happiness. Born on the shore of lake Geneva Switzerland, she now calls Hawaii her home! Her passion is to guide people to ultimate fulfillment, beyond all ego. She also is a music composer and an artist.
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