by Natalie Kawai | Jun 21, 2016 | Blog, Uncategorized
Why can’t we surrender the weapons and tricks of our ego that easily and why is it so hard to shift from the paradigm of our programming to the true nature that we are and all yearn for?
The number one reason is of course the fact that we are not conscious of being programmed, since we don’t remember that we replaced our lost consciousness by some foreign elements that made us feel whole again in a pseudo manner.
Number 2 is that we lived for so long in the tapestry of our woven programs that we became confused with it. We are therefore attached to them, and worse they became our pseudo identity. We will fight for this pseudo identity very hard, like for the blood in our veins! That goes to show the momentum and supremacy that this entity (our pseudo self) has gained over time.
Number 3 is the fact that even though we want our true self and are called by it, we are afraid of it, locked in a 2 steps forward, 2 steps backward kind of a dance. We wonder why we would rather sabotage our chance to be ourselves, rather than going all the way. We don’t understand why even though the right choice is right in front of us, we turn our back on it and fall back into the trap of avoidance, procrastination, addictions, victimization, or any kind of stories that pulls us away from embracing our true power and respecting ourselves 100%.
Why don’t we do what our heart deeply tells us to do? Because we are in the habit of sabotaging ourselves out of a tenacious claw that holds all of us very tight: the guilt to be and the fear to be.
Let’s examine those. Why on Earth would I feel guilty to be, one could ask? Well, this feeling is of course super unconscious and doesn’t apparently make any sense unless we dig a little further down into why we would feel that way. So let’s go back to its origin. We exit Source and immediately after everything collapses. Not only do we feel the tremendous pain of being out of Source, but we also are terrified because we don’t know where we are. To top it all, we think we made a tremendous mistake and totally blew it. In short, we feel guilty, for having come out and created the mess we are in. That guilt is reflected by Christianity with the concept of original sin. The real origin of the guilt is actually anterior. When the Father pushes the Mother away, he receives guilt as a signal that something went wrong. We just top this first guilt with ours.
Now there is another aspect to the guilt. We not only feel guilty because we think it’s all our fault, but we also feel that “being” is the inherent nature of divinity, the energy we come from and have lost. Since we wrongfully think we made a mistake by exiting and thus fell in disgrace, “banished from Eden”, we no longer feel worth that being-ness. Being becomes the “privilege” of divinity and thinking we have the right to be would be a blasphemy. All we are entitled to is to do our best to redeem ourselves until God bestows mercy upon us. This is not a scenario that we have consciously in mind of course, this runs into the deepest tracks of our subconscious, and one has to be willing to take a look, meaning dig in these layers, to truly unwind the predicament.
Needless to say that with this intricate set of thoughts, we have a hard time trusting ourselves.
Thinking we made a mistake and then lost our privilege to be doesn’t promote an easy way back to embracing our being-ness, our true nature. We unconsciously fight it, driven by these deep and subconscious beliefs that if we don’t exorcise and dismantle, will prevent us to return to our Source, embrace our true nature of being and thus become whole.
How do we address a belief that I am not even aware would be a legitimate question. ….to be followed.
Next week we’ll go further into that!
Questions?
- Have you done all you could do to solve a problem you have and it is not going away?
- Why can’t you create the life you really want?
Feel free to connect with me for your no-obligation discovery session! I’ll rock the boat of your unconscious beliefs! Throw me a note and I’ll be glad to answer! info@NatalieKawai.com
About Natalie
Spiritual Teacher and revolutionary thought leader, Natalie Kawai is a messenger of the Great Mother of Creation. She champions the rise of feminine energy. This part of our presence having been denied from time of creation, we feel that something is missing. Time to return to wholeness and enjoy fulfillment beyond conditional happiness. Born on the shore of lake Geneva Switzerland, she now calls Hawaii her home! Her passion is to guide people to ultimate fulfillment, beyond all ego. She also is a music composer and an artist.
by Natalie Kawai | May 2, 2016 | Blog, Uncategorized
Ego is an energy entity, much like a person. It was born, grew in force and experience, and over time, developed strong characteristics of control and survival. Establishing its supremacy over us in a sly and solid strategy, it moves its puns on the game, in a systematic and under cover approach.
Its role is to preserve the newly found coherence of the identity we desperately try to restructure, after having lost a lot of our substance or consciousness through the “big bang” of creation.
The ego is necessary. Without it, we would still be scattered in limbo. We wouldn’t be able to have a form. Remember, after having exploded, we hastily recompose a semblance of our lost coherence, taping into the pool of fear-based thoughts all around, and patching up the holes with this replacement material. This new identity had to be kept together, tight and solid, and this is how the ego came to birth. The ego is like a membrane that has formed around our energy. It surrounds and keeps the integrity of the new cell we rekindled to survive, and go about our journey out of Source.
We put it in place, we created it and then, like everything that is given birth in this universe, it started to take on a life of its own. The energy of the ego is not coming from a dark zone, it is just energy, energy that wants to survive. Itʼs been assigned a role to begin with: the defense of the new found identity, which includes the patterns that have replaced our true self. And itʼs doing a really good job by not letting us easily free ourselves from this entity we have become. Its function is to do all it can to preserve the mold we assembled, and are entrapped into. Since we have been with our “ego” from day one of creation, it is well aware of our psychology and the least meander of our character, and therefore knows to perfection how to exploit them!
Everything in this universe is created from the very single Original Energy, and develops different traits and characteristics along the way. Away from its starting point, any energy entity will more or less severely stray, and experience outside the realm of its provenance. It will lose its remembrance and develop a renegade nature. It will think that it has become the master in command and will find a sense of self and power in a caricature of truth instead of truth. Spinning its wheels in an artificial land, it is doomed to collapse, when the light of truth finally comes back and shines over its shadows!
In the case of our personal ego, the power and full hegemony that it exerts upon us will only last until one wakes up from the illusion and starts to build up true power, regaining consciousness in the momentum of ongoing and dedicated work. Then the ego will be blocked in its track by the presence of self. The programs squatting the space will have to go and the keeper will have nothing to keep anymore! The ego will be on strike and at this point will convert back into a purer energy. That energy will still surround our cells, as a vibrational membrane to maintain our physical form, so that we can continue to experience our Source from the perspective of our incarnation.
Knowing that the ego is trained to be the keeper of the artificial order within, assuring the interim in the temporary absence of our Consciousness is good, but itʼs not enough to conjure up its intricate organization and dominance. This pseudo order within having become what we think we are, we will defend it and therefore enforce our ego.
It will feel safer for a while to operate from the old ego paradigm, but then as the soul evolves, it will become imperative to seek for truth, like air to breathe! At this stage, a person will look for ways to regain self and through implacable practice, will retrieve the lost consciousness. There will be an awkward passage, haunted by a lot of fear, where one will lose its bearings and step into the void without a net. The dissolution of the patterning, along with the backing down of the ego is very challenging since we functioned in this pseudo order forever. As fake as it is, that system is what we know and even outdated and dysfunctional, it feels safe and we are attached to it.
The ego is that voice inside that doesnʼt want things to change. It makes us feel that change is highly dangerous and we better off maintaining status quo. So stubbornness is one of the favorite weapons of the ego. It will also make us feel victimized by other people or situations so that we stay as far away from our power as we can.
Discouragement, doubt, boredom, sense of being defeated, incapable, unworthy, not good enough, too shy, too short, too old, too whatever, “I canʼt”, “I donʼt have the time”… and so forth are all part of the panoply of ego strategies to maintain status quo and disable a person to find their true self. Stepping in the unknown is challenging, no question about it, but the unknown is the place where instead of losing ourselves, we actually find ourselves! In the vastness of what we donʼt know lies the dormant consciousness that we so long for. By stepping into it, we create a bridge toward our very Self!
Dealing with the ego though is not dealing with the enemy; itʼs dealing with a part of us that has been assigned a function for the longest time and does not remember where it is coming from and where it belongs. It has become identified with its role. It is not about laying siege to the ego until it capitulates, itʼs about re-owning Self until the ego has nothing to fight for anymore, no pseudo structure to defend. It can then be recycled into the energy that it came from: Source.
Questions:
- A voice keeps nagging you in devaluing your true potential
- Feel at time discouraged, bored, defeated, unworthy
- Holding off, procrastinating, feeling stubborn
- Then your good old ego is holding the deck too tight
Time to establish more of YOU in the game so that you can be the master and play your card, instead of it playing you!
Feel free to book your discovery no-obligation session with me. I can’t wait to talking to you!
info@NatalieKawai.com
About Natalie
Spiritual Teacher and revolutionary thought leader, Natalie Kawai is a messenger of the Great Mother of Creation. She champions the rise of feminine energy. This part of our presence having been denied from time of creation, we feel that something is missing. Time to return to wholeness and enjoy fulfillment beyond conditional happiness. Born on the shore of lake Geneva Switzerland, she now calls Hawaii her home! Her passion is to guide people to ultimate fulfillment, beyond all ego. She also is a music composer and an artist.
by Natalie Kawai | Apr 26, 2016 | Blog, Uncategorized
When a desire arises, we feel inspired and start to take action and that is exciting. Our creativity is at play! Since we are attached to proving our selves, our worthiness, our importance at the level of effect, we have a tendency to attach ourselves to the outcome, and are going to validate ourselves according to the results we obtain out there in the 3-D, in the “to have” level of reflection. We attach our sense of self with the result and if the result doesn’t come, we take a dive and question our value. We are projected onto the outcome and long for it because we’ve changed location: we’ve moved from here to there.
Our super intelligent emotional body, beloved guide, is going to tell us about that relocation with strong and painful signals. We become angry, frustrated, depressed if things aren’t showing up, or are taken away. Our sense of self is questioned and we are in pain. What that pain is telling us is that we are projected onto something/someone out there and are away from ourselves. The only way to come back to ourselves is to detach, and therefore retrieve ourselves.
The drive of our wants is a very intelligent dynamic that naturally propels us to finding ourselves. Every time we encounter difficulties to manifest our desires, we get an opportunity to gain ourselves by simply meeting and embracing the discomfort/pain we experience. In so doing we re-own that piece of us projected onto the outcome of our desire. We detach from our projection and come back to ourself. If there were no desires we wouldn’t be able to find out about the mechanism of our projections, we wouldn’t be able to find ourselves. The intelligence of our soul agreements is magnificent.
Since a negative feeling is sent to warn us that we left our center to go out there in the 3-D; that we have become identified with “to have” instead of “to be”, we have to come back through the same path: the feeling. If we don’t feel the pain/discomfort and choose to operate instead from thinking: “I let go”, or “I release”, the work is only partial. We might feel temporarily better, but we don’t retrieve ourselves. We just manipulate the feeling with the thinking. That is simply a form of very subtle control of the Will by the Spirit.
Our wishes can all come true naturally if they are emanating from their origin: Source. We are made out of the Will and the Spirit: the Essence. When all of it is retrieved, we are a match to our point of origin, we resonate with our Source. When that happens, we are very magnetic and very inspired, or very creative. We attract to ourselves easily and naturally. If we tweak the results of our desires with some thinking manipulation, we might have the results we want but we won’t have ourselves! Not interfering, not getting in our own way trying to prove ourselves through the manifestation of our desires, is the goal. By following the track of the desire, and addressing the feelings that arise in the process, we detach ourselves from the outcome –the level of having and therefore attach ourselves back to our Source –the level of being, from which the true power of creation is coming.
Isn’t that the purpose of the whole game, to be who we are?
When a desire is coming from Source, and neither patterns nor projections are attached, we can truly enjoy free creation. Then we let the greatest force at play orchestrate the manifestation, without concerns about when and how, because it’s being in the game that is fun and valuable, not winning the game to prove ourselves. We have then operated a drastic shift from having to being, from form to Essence. That is creating from the heart, the feeling, the level of creation that is coming from Source. Our divinity—desires, flowing throughout our humanity—emotions, allows us to know who we are with an experience, a sense of it. That is the beauty of being human!
Questions
- In touch with your deepest desires?
- Ready to learn how to handle your negative feelings, and turn them into power?
Let’s talk! Feel free to reach out for your no obligation discovery session: info@NatalieKawai.com
About Natalie
Spiritual Teacher and revolutionary thought leader, Natalie Kawai is a messenger of the Great Mother of Creation. She champions the rise of feminine energy. This part of our presence having been denied from time of creation, we feel that something is missing. Time to return to wholeness and enjoy fulfillment beyond conditional happiness. Born on the shore of lake Geneva Switzerland, she now calls Hawaii her home! Her passion is to guide people to ultimate fulfillment, beyond all ego. She also is a music composer and an artist.
by Natalie Kawai | Apr 8, 2016 | Blog, Uncategorized
A “story of happiness” lies in each one of us. It is all laid out in the very unconscious tracks of our psyche, woven with the fueling threads of our mind.
The “story of happiness” is a scenario that we concoct to harness the strong energy of our desires, in the subjacent quest of retrieving ourselves. That might sound a bit abstract; so let me elaborate a little more.
We land on Earth with an inner curriculum that we will constantly be called to follow. This setting is very intricately outlined by our soul agreements and serves one goal only: retrieving self through experience, and thus realizing Self.
With the partial loss of our substance, and experiencing ourselves consciously through the retrieval of our scattered parts, we scaffold scenarios, stories that will encompass our ideas of the “Grail”, of our Source. Our “story of happiness” is a 3-D transposition of what it would feel like to be whole and nested in our Source. It metaphorically captures that desired state through a specific tale that is unique and specific to everyone.
We all have this subjacent film running in our head, guiding our actions and choices at all times. The avid chase we go through to bring the elements of our story of happiness mobilizes a lot of our energy, inside and out. It consumes close to 3⁄4 of our hard drive capacity, limiting movement with the clutter that it is causing us. We are stuck in the confined perimeter of our pictures, blinded and unable to free space for our true genius to express.
We are not aware of this tunnel vision and unfortunately become used to that limited capacity, acting in predictable ways, following the groove of the script all lined up within.
The story of happiness is a replica, an emblem of what we would live if we were in our Self; but it also serves another design. Longing for the “dream” reveals latent pain that we wouldn’t access otherwise. Remember, as long as we don’t truly feel our pain, meet with it, we don’t transmute our programs and can’t align with Source. By not recognizing our pain, denying or avoiding it, we simply stay stuck away from ourselves.
We think we are unhappy because we donʼt have what we want, because we donʼt live our “story of happiness”, when in truth we are unhappy because we donʼt have “who we are”. Therefore the pain is not created by the unfulfilled “dream”; itʼs already there beneath. Not having what we want only exposes it. That intricacy demonstrates, one more time, how everything in our world is brilliantly orchestrated for our ultimate achievement.
Awakening from the illusion, from the dream of life is our fundamental drive; the hidden purpose that lies underneath everything we do, everybody we meet, every situation we create. The fastest way to accomplish that is by feeling the pain of our deep longing for oneness; and not living “the story of happiness” will certainly do the job! The good news is that when we are on task and retrieve ourselves, there is no longing, or chasing the dream anymore. One lives the dream, a life that has become the true “story of happiness”.
Questions:
- Want to know what your Source really feels like?
- Stop chasing the dream, awaken from the illusion?
- Live life fully and enjoy each breath you take?
Don’t hesitate to connect. Together we’ll uncover more in your complimentary discovery session! info@nataliekawai.com
About Natalie
Spiritual Teacher and revolutionary thought leader, Natalie Kawai is a messenger of the Great Mother of Creation. She champions the rise of feminine energy. This part of our presence having been denied from time of creation, we feel that something is missing. Time to return to wholeness and enjoy fulfillment beyond conditional happiness. Born on the shore of lake Geneva Switzerland, she now calls Hawaii her home! Her passion is to guide people to ultimate fulfillment, beyond all ego. She also is a music composer and an artist.
by Natalie Kawai | Mar 17, 2016 | Blog, Uncategorized
Resistance is our configuration. We are made out of flesh and bones, structurally functional because of our inherent resistance. That’s our human garment. Inwardly we learned how to resist since day one of creation. Feeling ejected by Source, we felt rejected and abandoned and started to push against our own Source by becoming resistant. “Hey, you pushed against me, I am going to push back!”. Thereby we created a strategy of resistance with our patterns and armored it with ego.
Gradually we became attached to that resistance, we built it up to the point of creating an identity out of it. We became what we thought and what we felt, and to top it all we started to defend that setting. Oh la la! Hello conflicts! This incrusted resistance has become our replacement identity for the real us we lost by birthing in humanity. Resistance and attachments developed into our default mechanism of defense.
Fortunately, we got fed up with this scripted scenario and started to shake things up. We wanted to find more fulfillment, more well-being, deeply driven by a soul longing.
The key to fulfillment is acceptance of self.
But in order to accept ourselves, we first have to own ourselves.
If we came up with an arsenal of resources these past decades to get back into the inherent power we naturally are, we still stumble upon a missing part. We all feel it more or less vaguely. We keep compensating for that missing part by creating more of the same, more conquests to make our life easier. But deep within we feel that if this improvement is undeniably good, it still doesn’t bring us what we really are looking for: true fulfillment.
What we don’t know is that a part of the essence we are made of is still missing. It has been forgotten in the equation of the creative power and fell in oblivion a longtime ago. That part is the feminine and emotional energy, the energy of the Great Mother of Creation. It is the Goddess side of divinity who, if she is allotted a reserved parking spot for the show, is still not performing on the stage of our reality! We are orphans of our very Mother and we keep yearning for her without even knowing it.
So one more time we are due to stretch the limits of our horizons. Upon retrieving that last past of our energy, we will become whole again and that is the promise of the New Era!
Questions?
- You want to be free, powerful but you are not and that hurts,
- You feel a block in your stomach, a pressure in your chest, your mind always grinds, your flow is disrupted, you worry, you are anxious, insecure…
- all that are signs of unconscious attachment to resistance!
If there was a click away to a magic trick, I would give it to you guys, promise; but let’s be real, unwinding our stuff takes time and commitment, all it takes is to start!
Want to glimpse on the other side? Dare to connect for your discovery session. It’s free and you are welcome!
info@nataliekawai.com
About Natalie
Spiritual Teacher and revolutionary thought leader, Natalie Kawai is a messenger of the Great Mother of Creation. She champions the rise of feminine energy. This part of our presence having been denied from time of creation, we feel that something is missing. Time to return to wholeness and enjoy fulfillment beyond conditional happiness. Born on the shore of lake Geneva Switzerland, she now calls Hawaii her home! Her passion is to guide people to ultimate fulfillment, beyond all ego. She also is a music composer and an artist.
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